


Love Descends on Those Defenceless - Excerpt

by Wulfstaar



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 70’s, Christmas Fluff, David Bowie - Freeform, First Crush, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Friendship, Marauders era, Not Canon Compliant, Slow Burn, let all the children boogie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:28:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26306356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wulfstaar/pseuds/Wulfstaar
Summary: An Excerpt from a WIP.Chapter 1- Remus’ mother works part time in a record shop and the lets the boys loose on it over Christmas in second year. Sirius is working through some complicated feelings about David Bowie.Chapter 2- Summer of ‘77 Sirius decides he needs a makeover and Remus is the only one willing to do it. There’s something very intimate about shaving another persons head.Chapter 3- Christmas ‘77 is Sirius and Remus’ first together and they are so in love.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 8





	1. Christmas 1972

**Author's Note:**

> This is a brief excerpt from a fic I’ve just started.
> 
> I believe Remus would have a lot of contact with the muggle world, and in this fic his mother works in a record shop, Remus really enjoys showing the marauders all his muggle records. Sirius naturally thinks that David Bowie is the coolest person on earth.
> 
> This is light on Sirius/Remus but it’s just a taster of what’s to come.

The boys were helping James look through all of the Beatles albums, discussing at length which one they thought Lily Evans would be the most impressed by when Sirius heard the beginning to a familiar song. He stepped away from the others and looked up at the tv above the counter, Mrs Lupin had explained the telly in the car on their way to the record shop but he hadn’t paid it much attention until now.  
Mrs Lupin looked up at him from her book and smiled, Remus had told her all about Sirius and his Bowie obsession in his letters.  
Sirius had only seen picture of David Bowie before, on the telly he didn’t look like he did on his album covers, he walked to the counter as if in a trance with wide eyes and a wider smile and leant against it. He felt like he was staring directly into David Bowies soul, he knew then that he couldn’t be a wizard, and he knew he couldn’t possibly be a muggle either. He was just _cool_. Sirius wished that one day he’d be as cool as him and be in a band with all his friends, Remus probably knew how to play loads of instruments, and when David Bowie pointed directly at him through the screen his heart skipped a beat.  
“Mrs Lupin, is David on the telly often?” He asked softly, she smiled at the familiarity.  
“Not all the time Sirius dear, but if I hear he is again I’ll make sure and tape it just for you” he just nodded and thanked her.  
As the shop got a bit busier, people shopping for last minute presents, Mrs Lupin packed up all their choices in a bag and gave them each 50p and told Remus to take them to the sweet shop across the road and to be back before lunch.  
When they got back to Remus’ that evening Mrs Lupin told the boys she’d send all the records they picked to them on Christmas Day and shoo’d them through the floo because Coronation Street was starting.

...

They woke up early on Christmas Day, buzzing with excitement, Mrs Potter caught them trying to sneak down the stairs.  
The Potters had stockings lined up by the fireplace for each of the boys each with a chocolate frog, Christmas edition Bertie Botts, a tangerine and a pair of thick warm socks, which the boys pulled on instantly. Mrs Potter pointed out their presents under the tree before before going to wake Mr Potter and get tea and biscuits. 

There was a large broom shaped present in bright gold and red paper with James’ name on it. Mr and Mrs Potter had bought him a Comet 220 and a new pair of Quiddich boots. He opened the records he chose from Mrs Lupins shop, a copy of Abbey Road and Help! Which they had all agreed were likely to be among Lily’s favourites, Remus had bought him a Beetles t-shirt from his mums shop to complete the look which he pulled over his PJs instantly.  
Peter opened his gifts from his parents, a Caerphilly Catapults 1972 anunual with a whole year worth of facts and stats and pictures which Peter could hardly wait to tear through, he opened the smaller box with a figurine of Dangerous Dai Llewellyn and a broom he would fly around on. James said it was a pity it wasn’t Fallon Finnegan of the Kenmare Kestrels as he was a much better technical player and didn’t need to show off to win games.  
This caused a loud argument that Remus ignored while he opened his presents, from his mother he received a set of large black headphones that he could plug into his record player and a copy of Who’s Next, which he’d read about in the New Musical Express and had been rated very highly. In the same bag was a smaller package wrapped in black wrapping paper with golden twinkling stars, it was from his father. He opened it very carefully inside was a heavy brown leather journal, the paper inside was thick and high quality, and the leather binding looked expensive, he opened the cover and inside his father had written

> For thoughts, drawings, poems and  
>  stories, may this journal tell your tale.  
>  Merry Christmas  
>  Love Dad

Remus smiled down at the message and held the book tightly for a moment before handing a bright and festive gift bag to Sirius who had been reading his chocolate frog card intently, he look at the bag confused, he didn’t even look down into it before apologising to Remus, he hadn’t gotten anyone anything, his parents had refused to send him money to buy things for his “nasty little friends.” Remus laughed freely.  
“We’re going to be friends for a long time I’m sure you’ll make it up to me now quiet and open your present!”  
In the bag from Remus we’re the two records he had chosen in the shop and a third, Transformer by Lou Reed, who he knew from the Velvet Underground, Sirius traced his face lightly on the cover while Remus told him it was very new and how his mum warned him it was maybe a bit grown-up, which only made Sirius love it more, and he hadn’t even taken it out of the plastic yet. Remus nudged the bag again to get Sirius’ attention, there was more.  
Remus explained as Sirius reached into the bag that his mum got him something a little extra because and that she’d had them around the shop taking up space anyway, out of the bag Sirius pulled two rolled up posters, by now Peter and James had stopped arguing and were leading through the Catalults book picking apart every bit of information, Sirius unrolled the first poster, it was a little worn around the edges from being stolen away off of a theatre wall, but the colours were still bright and there was David Bowie standing tall with white trousers and a floral jacket over his bare chest. Ziggy Stardust in psychedelic text above him and information to a gig Sirius’d never attend under his big white boots. It was the perfect size for beside his bed.  
The second was rolled more carefully and as he began to unroll it a note fell out.

> Dear Sirius,  
>  Mr Lupins cousin sent this poster over from America last month, he had pinched a few from the theatre itself. Mr Lupin made some copies for me to sell but this one is the original, perhaps David himself put this one up!  
>  Have a very Merry Christmas and look after our Remus for us  
>  Love Mrs Lupin

Sirius almost didn’t dare unravel the poster further, the note from Mrs Lupin had already left a lump in his throat, he looked up to Remus watching him expectantly, with a smile from ear to ear. He unrolled it without looking down, breathing slowly watching a spot on the wall above Remus’ head, he only snapped when he heard James and Peters “Woah”s from across the room as they crawled over, suddenly interested.

He looked down and took in _coolest_ thing he had ever laid eyes on, but there he was, Ziggy Stardust in space, surrounded by stars. He had never seen Bowie’s face so clearly before, even on the telly the picture had been small and grainy but this was huge and clear and his, he traced his fingers lightly over David’s face, he had mascara or some other type of make up on his eyes and red lipstick, he remembered his mother once said that only whores wear lipstick that colour but he didn’t know what that meant now, because he had never seen something so ...cool before. He didn’t really know if it was common for muggle men to wear make up, but he didn’t think that he’d seen any men in muggle London with any on, he would ask Mrs Lupin when he seen her next which he hoped would be soon. He traced the letters on the poster,

> CARNEGIE HALL

He didn’t know where in America that was but he wished he’d been able to go, one day he would see David Bowie live he was sure of it.  
He looked up finally to see Remus, James, and Peter playing exploding snap at the table, Remus shot him a smile, he was distracting them so Sirius could fully take in his gifts, he knew.

He rolled both posters back into the bag and sat back against the couch, Sirius wasn’t the type to be lost for words hardly ever but he wasn’t sure he would ever speak again.  
His mother didn’t much believe in gifts, especially sentimental ones, and suddenly he wanted to cry, the lump in his throat felt like a boulder and he was blinking back a flood.  
What had to done to deserve such people in his life, he would never be able to make this up to Remus, never mind his mother, he wouldn’t know where to start. He jumped up and ran at his friends grabbing them all in a great hug, knocking the deck of cards to the floor, his arm especially tight around Remus.  
”Mum’s really good at presents isn’t she” Remus said with a smile.  
Sirius nodded afraid the flood gates would open if he spoke. 

...

Mrs Lupin had invited the boys over on the 4th of January, before they went back to Hogwarts, for “dinner and a show” as she’d put in her letter to Mrs Potter. The boys were all very excited to see Mrs Lupin again, they all agreed that she was wicked fun.  
Sirius felt nervous to see Mrs Lupin, he didn’t know how to thank her for the presents but Remus had reassured him that it was no big deal.  
She welcomed the boys through the floo with a great big hug and Sirius mumbled thanks with bright eyes, she just laughed and ruffled his long dark hair.  
Remus, James, and Peter wandered into kitchen to raid any leftovers from the Christmas Cupboard. Sirius gave Mrs Lupin another tight hug around her waist and mumbled something again.  
“Sirius dear you have to speak clearly now if you want me to understand you” she said softly, her fingers running through his hair.  
“It’s too much.” He repeated “it’s too much, I have to give them back”  
She looked down at his face, tears streaming down his face. She crouched down to his level and took his face in her hands, she spoke sternly but with a love he’d never heard from his own mother, “Now you listen to me wee man, I gave those posters to you because I knew you would appreciate them the most, now Remus told me that you don’t get many presents from home, so I just wanted to make this Christmas a little bit special. Besides, you may be the biggest David Bowie fan on the planet, no one deserves them more than you” 

She pulled him into another tight hug then pushed him towards the kitchen. “Now you better hurry along before those boys finish off all my tins of chocolates”  
Sirius wiped his eyes and ran off to find his friends surrounded by bright empty chocolate wrappers, before he could argue with them James revealed a hidden pile he’d saved just for him.  
Mrs Lupin popped her head round the door to tell them that she’s was leaving for the chippy and they were going to watch telly with dinner, she told Remus to set up pillows around the telly. They all raced for the best spot, unsurprisingly James managed to beat them all to it.  
Mrs Lupin arrived back with her arms full of newspaper wrapped fish suppers, by the time they all settled in with their fish suppers and their cola it was 6:30, Mrs Lupin turned the telly on just in time for Top of The Pops to start. They were all full of excitement with the exception of Peter who had decided that muggles just couldn’t make music as good as witches and wizards.  
A man called Ed Stewart was hosting it that night Mrs Lupin said she was glad because he was her favourite host and very dreamy, she added that she hated that slimy prick Saville, another host, and reminds the boys never to use swear words.

The first up was someone called Donny Osmond who Sirius had vaguely heard of, when he started to sing Sirius decided that he was just terrible.  
“Hey James, I bet Lily would love him, you should get one of those white glittery suits she wouldn’t half swoon” Sirius said, poking James in the temple, James said nothing and smacked him with a pillow. Mrs Lupin asked James if Lily was his girlfriend which made all the boy’s, except James crumble into laughter as Donny Osmond sang on. They continued their chatter over some more acts of varying quality before the man on the telly said something that made both Sirius and Remus jolt up 

“Up next at number 3, he’s back at it again with another hit, here’s David Bowie with The Jean Genie” 

Remus smacked both Peter and James on the arm to shut them up, it was time to listen this was new.  
He looked at Sirius, who had his hands over his mouth, as the guitar started Remus grabbed him by the shoulder and shook with excitement, Sirius spared him a look and Remus could tell he was smiling behind his hands, neither of them noticed the eye rolling from James and Peter, who were getting a bit sick of this Bowie bloke.  
Out of the corner of his eye Remus watched Sirius the whole time almost, his mum was recording it he could watch whenever, he wouldn’t get to see this reaction from Sirius’ again. Only after the song ended and Sirius took a breath did Remus realise he’d been holding onto Sirius the whole time.

Remus wrote in his journal for the first time that night about Jean Genie and David Bowie and Sirius Black.


	2. Summer 1977

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A snapshot of summer 1977.

Seventh Year.

By the summer of 1977 the punk scene in London had exploded and Sirius Black had found his look. He had told Mrs Potter about his plans, tried to show her some pictures from the NME, she was unamused and tried to discourage him to no avail. James had similarly refused to help, thinking he’d gone mad, James really didn’t like the new ‘angry’ music Sirius’ had been listening to. 

Remus, however, had not yet learned to say no to Sirius’ wild plans and now he stood with scissors and a razor in his hands looking down at Sirius kneeling in front of a mirror in his mother’s kitchen. He was tying portions of his hair up with rubber bands, these parts were to remain.  
“Are you really sure you want to do this Padfoot?” Remus asked softly, his hands running through Sirius’ long dark hair, wondering where to begin.  
“Listen Moony I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life, just think how cool I’m going to look!” Remus looked unconvinced but pulled a section of Sirius’ hair and with a deep breath made the first snip.  
Remus wasn’t used to Sirius sitting still for so long, his eyes closed, looking almost serene. Remus didn’t understand how that was possible with the racket Sirius had put on, The Damned, his new favourite band. It just gave Remus a headache, and he only made it through one half of Sirius’ head before he stepped away, Sirius’ eyes snapping open at the loss of contact.  
“Pads, I’m sorry I’m changing the record I cannot work like this, how about a classic instead” he said, already walking to the record player. Sirius said nothing, just watched him move with furrowed eyebrows.  
When Changes by David Bowie started a relieved smile appeared. “Oh Moon for a second I thought you were going to play your boring, slow shite”  
Remus just laughed and started chopping away at the other side of Sirius’ head, with no finesse. Sirius closed his eyes again, a relaxed, almost smug smile on his face. By the time Life on Mars? started Remus was starting to cut in closer with the razor, he was crouched, leaning in close being precise now, manipulating Sirius’ head in his hands to get a better angle.  
“You know this is the first muggle record I ever heard.” Sirius spoke quietly with a smile. “I was never allowed to even think about muggle things and then I met you, and you showed me this. I think you changed my life that day”  
Remus looked at the boy in the mirror, his eyes now open watching intently. Remus’ stomach felt like it dropped through the floor, at a loss for words, Sirius rarely spoke so sentimentally. He just smiled at Sirius and resumed shaving his head. It took him a moment to find his words, trying not to concentrate on the fact that Sirius was still watching him.  
“I regret it now Pads, as it seems it started you on a road that’s led to this ridiculous hair cut”  
There was silence for a moment before Sirius laughed, the tension was dissipating.  
“You wound me Moony, besides, the hair is the easy part.”  
Remus held Sirius’ head still with a sigh as Sirius began to fish several small baggies out of his pockets. He had almost forgot he had agreed to do the piercings.  
There was another record change before the haircut was complete and Ziggy Stardust played as Remus looked down proudly at his finished work. Sirius was taking the rubber bands out of the surviving hair with a pained look, he took in the final result and beamed up at Remus.  
“Now for the finishing touches my dear Moony, use the spell I told you about, I want to see if it works as well as the muggle way”  
“And what was the reason you couldn’t spell it yourself Pads?” Remus grumbled, grabbing his want from the kitchen counter. Sirius just looked confused at the question.  
“Because I want you to do it Moony”  
With a flick of his wand the look was complete, Remus supposed that Sirius didn’t look half bad with a mohawk, and he figured it would be fun to slap the newly bald sides of his head. Remus tested this out immediately and was correct. 

After a brief slap fight it was time for the more daunting task. The piercings. Remus changed the record again with a flick of his wand, this time opting for Sirius’ second favourite Queen album Sheer Heart Attack. He lay the tiny baggies out on the table while Sirius applied some more eyeliner, he felt fairly confident about the ear piercings, Sirius had already stuck a safety pin through his right ear last year and it had only got a little infected. Lessons had been learned and now Remus was preparing to pierce Sirius’ nose, eyebrow, and lip. Remus refused to think of all the ways this could go wrong. He cleaned the rings and the first needle throughly before putting the tip to Sirius’ ear, just by the original hole and without warning drove the needle through, Sirius yelped and punched Remus on the leg.  
“You fucking bastard I thought you were just lining up, a little warning would be nice!” Sirius shouted, already laughing through the pain. Remus pulled the needle out and slipped the black steel ring through the hole, using his wand to seal the ring closed.  
“If you can’t handle that one Paddy I wouldn’t recommend we continue.” Sirius recognised he was being goaded but was like a bull to a red flag.  
“Of course we continue Moony, don’t be ridiculous, the others won’t even hurt I bet!” They both ignored the lie, Remus lay the other three piercings out in front of him.  
“Which first my brave Padfoot, nose, eyebrow, or lip?” Sirius looked down at his choices, he looked vaguely worried, his tough guy act faltering for a moment before he grabbed the eyebrow ring and thrust it at Remus.  
“Remember Moon, a little warning.”  
Remus pulled another antiseptic wipe and wiped the skin around where he was piercing, he picked up a new needle and lined it up, pinching the skin between his fingers. With both hands on Sirius’ face he could feel just how heavy Sirius was breathing.  
“Okay Pads, I’m going to count down from three.” Sirius took a deep breath and stared up at Remus looming above him.  
“And... Three, two -“ Remus drove the needle through cleanly and Sirius punched his leg again, trying very hard not to shout through the pain. Remus tilted his head up now concentrating on putting the ring through as painlessly as possible.  
“You know as well as I do Pads that when you are expecting it you’ll tense up, and apparently that makes it hurt all the more, according to my mum anyway.” He began dabbing the new piercing with an antiseptic wipe again, getting rid of the blood. Sirius was pouting like he was beginning to regret this makeover, unfortunately for him he would never admit it and slowly handed Remus the nose stud, this one looked easier to get in. “Left or right?” Remus asked, pulling a chair over so they were sitting face to face.  
Sirius tapped the right of his nose before leaning forward a little to make it easier for Remus. He pulled out a new needle and lined it up on Sirius’ nose, he could tell that Sirius was staring at him now, and he was trying very hard not to let himself be distracted. “How about you count down this time Sirius, and I’ll go on one, how does that sound?” Sirius gave a tight little nod and started counting with his eyes closed. This time Remus kept his promise, and as predicted Sirius tensed up and by the low pained breath Remus figured this one may have hurt a lot more. A couple of stray tears ran down Sirius cheek, streaking the cheap eyeliner, Remus cleaned them away with his thumb. The stud went in easily and after a moment Sirius opened his eyes again.  
“I think you mum might be onto something there about the element of surprise, that was a _bastard_ so it was” They laughed as Remus gently cleaned the blood away.  
“With all your crying Pads, you look like a sad Alice Cooper” Remus had been teasing but Sirius looked quite pleased with himself. He picked up the last ring and went to hand it to Remus.  
“Now this one will be a bastard Pads, hope you’re not planning on kissing anyone” Remus didn’t know why he’d said that, none of them ever talked about _kissing_ , besides James, and he felt very embarrassed all of a sudden. He’d clearly embarrassed Sirius too because he had yanked the lip ring back towards his chest. They were both still and quiet for a moment, Queen still playing in the background, before Sirius handed over the lip ring. Remus set it down and picked up the antiseptic wipes, his movements felt heavy now in the tense silence between them.

Remus scooted closer in his chair, his legs on either side of Sirius’ and he took his jaw in one hand and with the other he wiped Sirius’ bottom lip doing his best to concentrate. Sirius raised his hands and softly held Remus’ wrists, and Remus stopped and looked into his eyes, Sirius was staring, searching to see if Remus was as anxious as he was. Sirius leaned forward slowly, moving his hand to cup Remus’ face with an almost imperceptible smile, daring him to make the next move, but Remus could feel his hand trembling slightly against his cheek.  
Remus dropped the antiseptic wipe and slid his hand behind Sirius’ neck, pulling him closer until their foreheads were touching. He held Sirius there a moment, trying to impart all of his feelings with the contact, before leaning in and pressing their lips together. The tension fell from Sirius’ shoulders as they kissed. Sirius pulled away after a moment, and enveloped him in a tight hug, eyeliner stained tears flowing down his cheeks once again. He wondered when the other shoe would drop.


	3. Christmas 1977

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas time at the Potters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A light fluffy excerpt.  
> Subject to change in the finished fic.  
> Subject warning for smoking because it’s the 70’s

James, Remus, and Sirius were sitting around the fireplace in the Potters living room, the Pettigrews had decided to spend Christmas in France much to everyones dismay. They had all pretended that they were much too old to care about Christmas now, but that was forgotten when Mr Potter brought them his famous Christmas shortbread and creamy hot chocolate. Before the holidays James had convinced Lily to go on a date with him to Madam Puddifoot’s, and bonded over how tacky they found the place. He was writing her another lengthy letter, the second of the day, and pointedly ignoring what Sirius and Remus were getting up to.

They had all noticed the change, after the summer, Peter and James had just decided that they were finally back to normal again after fifth year and were grateful for it. But James had other suspicions, they would disappear at night long after everyone should have been asleep, sly smiles and lingering hugs. James couldn’t bring it up with Peter, he didn’t want to start rumours, and if he was wrong... So he ignored it and looked the other way. Pretended he wasn’t making those kind of assumptions about his friends. 

They were sitting close now, Sirius was on the floor with his back against the couch reading the latest NME, pouring over a piece about a band called Wire, Remus was lounging on the couch behind him tying several tiny silver Christmas baubles to the tips of his mohawk and charming them to float, he had already woven a sparkling rope of tinsel through the base. Sirius had taken a lot of convincing to let Remus do this but the small intimate touches against his scalp made it worth it.

At school they had to be careful, couldn’t risk the consequences of someone suspecting things were amiss, they had to sneak away in the dead of night with the map, sit huddled in an alcove or disused classroom and they would kiss, or hold each other and read quietly and sometimes Remus would agree to paint Sirius’ nails for him, they would discuss renting a flat in Camden, just the two of them where they could be together in peace, without hiding. They didn’t discuss the war.

In front of the other marauders they could breath a little, they were all such close friends that nothing would seem different. They both loved James and Peter so much, and since Mrs. Potter had taken Sirius in the two were like brothers. It killed Sirius to hold a secret of such magnitude from him, it felt like a betrayal, but they had agreed that it was necessary. If Peter or James reacted badly it would shatter the marauders and it simply wasn’t worth the risk. 

James folded his finished letter and left to send off Balbus, the Potters’ owl, he closed the door loudly behind him. Remus used this opportunity to lean down towards Sirius, holding his face gently in his hands, placing light kisses on the slight stubble at the side of his head his fair moustache tickling Sirius’ scalp. Sirius let out a contented sigh, he dropped the magazine and began tracing the scars on Remus’ hands, pulling them to his mouth to kiss his palms. 

“Be careful now Moons, Prongs will be back soon” He murmured against Remus’ hand. Remus growled quietly against his head, laying one final kiss against his temple before sitting back and resuming the festive display on Sirius’ mohawk. The door handle rattled and a moment later James came in with a box of mince pies and a bottle of red currant rum that had been presumably been nabbed from the back of Mr and Mrs Potters liquor cupboard. He tossed it to Sirius, who caught it with a cheer and immediately necked a mouthful. Remus looked on with a smile, the hangover tomorrow would be worth it, and perhaps next year would be different, perhaps they could be open and the secrecy could end. The love he had for Sirius was growing too much and it would surely bubble over soon and be plain for all to see.

It was long past midnight and Christmas Day was over, the Potters’ Christmas dinner had once again impressed and after a full night of firewhisky and games the boys had been sent to bed. James, who had accidentally smashed a very old crystal decanter, had passed out almost immediately. He was lying on top of a half written letter he had decided to write to Lily, the ink drying into his pyjama top. Mrs Potter had made up a bed on the floor of James’ room for Remus, where he sat with a forgotten book on his lap watching Sirius. He was leaning lackadaisically out of the window watching the stars in the sky with a cigarette in his hand humming a song Remus didn’t know. Remus had braided his mohawk earlier in the night while James and Sirius were in a drunken debate about the Ministry. The glitter from the baubles Remus had decorated him with earlier had stuck to his hair and looked like stars in the night sky. He wondered if he would ever stop getting butterflies in his stomach just looking at his boyfriend. Sirius looked over his shoulder at Remus slowly, blowing smoke out the window, and winked at him with a smile. Remus tried to wink back and blinked at him, Sirius laughed and looked back towards the stars. He took one last draw of the cigarette and flicked the dout into the garden below. He settled into the blankets beside Remus, wrapping his arm around him and leaning his head on Remus shoulder. Remus turned and kissed the stars in his hair. 

Sirius sat up and took Remus’ face in his hands, kissing each thin white scar on his face, the one across his nose was the newest and the most raw and he pressed the lightest kiss there. Remus found it hard to believe when people said that his scars were cool, or beautiful but it sounded different when Sirius said it, it sounded so genuine and full of love that he couldn’t help but believe it. Remus slid his hand around the back of Sirius’ neck and pulled him in for a proper kiss, the whisky and cigarette taste was delicious. 

Neither of them remembered falling asleep it had seemed like they were kissing for hours before the night took them. They woke in the morning to Mrs Potter calling them for breakfast, head pounding, Remus peeled himself off an equally hungover Sirius and stood up. James was no longer in the room and panic ran through Remus, they had fallen asleep in each other’s arms, he must have seen them it wasn’t something best friends did, even if they were drunk. He kicked Sirius who was refusing to open his eyes, his eyeliner smudged halfway down his face. 

“Paddy.” He hissed. “Wake the fuck up, James is downstairs, he must have seen us sleeping”

Sirius squinted his eyes open, hearing the panic in Remus’ voice. He sat up with a sigh and held his hand out for Remus to pull him to his feet. He squinted around the much too bright room for a moment, swaying on his feet. “Remus he wouldn’t have seen anything, all we need to say is we fell asleep on the floor and you rolled over in your sleep. Nothing out of place with that, yeah?” He gripped Remus’ arm reassuringly before walking to the door, the smell of Mrs Potters fry up taking over every other sense. Remus sighed, not really reassured, but followed him. 

He joined them at the table, Mrs Potter already helping herself to seconds of a very tasty looking breakfast, Remus felt slightly sick but started putting bacon and potato scones on his plate avoiding eye contact everyone. Sirius had his head on the table, spooning scrambled egg into his mouth weakly, and James was getting a lecture from his father about the mess he made last night, he had to do the dishes by hand as punishment, it was a sad sight. Remus felt a hand on his arm and looked up to Mrs Potter looking at him with a warm smile, she gave him a look and tapped her cheek pointedly and nodded towards the bathroom, Remus was confused but stood and went to the bathroom anyway. He turned the light on and in the mirror he seen what Mrs Potter had meant, black smudges across his cheekbones, Sirius’ eyeliner had rubbed off on him during their drunken, tired make out session and he hadn’t noticed. He felt exposed to the world, James knew, Mrs Potter knew, Mr Potter would know soon enough. He wasn’t ready for this. He ran the tap and took a cloth to his face, rubbing his cheek raw to get rid of the black marks, trying not to let tears spill out. There was a light rap at the door, “Remus dear it’s just me, may I come in” Mrs Potters voice was muffled by the door, it still sounded so kind. Remus nodded silently at the door, he tried to speak but no words would come out, he took a step and opened the door instead. Mrs Potter swept in the took stock of the boy in front of her, she picked a cloth off the sink and took a vial out of the cupboard, she gently rubbed his cheek and the last of the eyeliner vanished. She gave him a tight hug and looked at him, he couldn’t speak, couldn’t say anything to confirm what she already knew.

“Were you and Sirius drawing on each other?” her voice was soft and Remus was glad for it, he gave a small nod and she smiled, ruffling his hair. “Now that’s fine dear, everyone’s a bit hungover and embarrassed today, now go eat your breakfast and get your energy up!”

She gave his shoulder a small squeeze and walked him back to the table. 

He sat and ate, settling quickly, but he couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if he had told Mrs Potter then and there, would she have hit him? Would she have screamed at him, thrown him out her home? Or would she have pulled him into her arms and held him tight and safe? One day he’d be brave enough to tell. Just not today. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> James is like I Do Not See It


	4. First Day of Sixth Year - 1977

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius’ rebellious new style goes down like a led zeppelin.  
> This Excerpt is light on actual Wolfstar, it more deals with Sirius’ emotions.  
> Content warning for Homophobic language.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Being given into trouble for bullshit reasons by a teacher you otherwise respect causes some complex emotions lads.

Sirius had made it through two periods before McGonagall had brought him to her office. He hadn’t cared when a few seventh years called him a freak but being marched by an unhappy McGonagal to her office had made him feel very small, like a first year getting their first detention.

Her office seemed more intimidating now than normal, usually when was he was hauled here he had his fellow marauders beside him and he knew exactly what he had done wrong, this time he was alone and to his knowledge, innocent. He had told the Marauders on the train that if any of the teachers pulled him up for his hair, or his piercings, or his eyeliner he would set them straight, explain how he had a right to express himself as he saw fit and now bow to their facist rules but now as he sat across from her he kept his eyes down, studying the laces in his boots and his hands were clammy as he fiddled with his rings.

“Now Mr Black, are you going to tell me what all this nonsense is about?” Out the corner of his eye he noticed she gestured vaguely at his head. Her tone wasn’t harsh but he maintained his silence, he could feel his face heating up, the embarrassment was setting in. How could he possibly have thought he could come back to Hogwarts looking like this, sticking out so much, being so visibly...different. His confidence was gone.

“Mr Black, I would very much appreciate some eye contact while I speak. I have had two teachers report you as being a distraction in class and it’s no wonder why.” Sirius lifted his gaze, and looked her in the eye defiantly, her disappointment clear. 

There was a long silence as she waited for a response, he swallowed thickly, afraid his voice would stutter or crack. “Professor, I don’t want to be a distraction, I just want to be me. It’s just who I am.” He tried to speak clearly but his voice wobbled and he seen McGonagall’s expression soften slightly, he could feel frustrated tears forming in his eyes, he didn’t want her pity. “Well I hardly think that all this peacockery is just being yourself Mr Black! And it certainly is a distraction to others, are you not concerned what your peers will say?”

“They say what they’ll say regardless Professor! I’ve been hearing it since first year anyway; freak, gimp, blood-traitor, bum-boy, creep, queer! I’ve heard it all before so no, I’m not concerned about what my peers think, they’ve been telling me for years!” He hadn’t noticed that he’d been raising his voice or that tears had started streaming down his face, he dropped his head to his hands and cried some more, the frustration and the shame overwhelming him.

His punishment would come soon enough but the longer the quiet continued on with no rebuke from McGonagall the more nervous he became and the harder he cried. He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder and started, he hadn’t noticed her move. In her hand she held out a white handkerchief for him which he took reluctantly, he dabbed his cheeks as she made her way back to her seat, the black splotches of teary eyeliner that now decorated the handkerchief caused a new wave of embarrassment to flow over him.

The room was silent for a moment longer while Sirius got his breathing under control.  “Mr Black, I apologise for speaking so... frankly before. My intention was not to upset. I do believe the faculty have been under the impression this is all part of some bizarre prank.” He smiled a little at that despite himself, considering their past antics it could have been a fair assessment.

“However, if this is truly some form of flamboyant self expression there must be some rules regarding class time. Those spikes are simply not appropriate, your hair is either to be laying flat or to be tied up during classes, are we clear?” He nodded sheepishly, not willing to challenge her on this after he’d shouted and ruined her handkerchief. He lifted his wand to his hair and muttered the counter-charm, his hair falling messily to one side. 

“You may go now Sirius, Mr Slughorn knows you’ve been with me.” He nodded again, afraid his nerves would give out if he opened his mouth to speak and folded her handkerchief neatly on her desk. Sirius stood and walked briskly to the door, as he pulled it open McGonagall spoke again, her voice less stern this time, “Mr Black one last thing, a piece of advice this time if you’ll take it: with the eyeliner, less really is more” she smiled tightly at him once more and shooed him off, closing her door with a flick of his wand once he was in the corridor. 

He made his way to the dungeons as slowly as possible, as much as he enjoyed potions he needed a moment alone with his thoughts, soon he’d have to describe his meeting in detail to his fellow marauders and answer all their questions. He regretted his outburst towards McGonagall, in that moment he had been more vulnerable than he had ever been in front of anyone but Remus or James, he felt as through she could see right through him, illuminating all the shadows of his being. Sirius wished that he could be with Remus right now, the only one who would understand, to hold him and cry again and bleed all the anger and the shame out in his arms. But he knew it would be hours until they could be alone together and by then Sirius planned to have all these complex, upsetting emotions boxed up to be ignored for as long as possible. For now he had to figure out how to get his mohawk to still look cool without spiking it up, perhaps he could convince Remus to braid it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did McGonagall dirty here, I promise I’m not a hater I just think her tolerance for the Marauders’ antics is wearing thin after 6 years. She’s dead wrong though, the more eyeliner the better I think.

**Author's Note:**

> I have added a lot of details to this that haters will call unnecessary, but if I am now burdened with the knowledge of what time Top of the Pops started in 1973 then so will you be. 
> 
> Sirius feels the same way about David Bowie as I did about Keira Knightly in Pirates of the Caribbean, confused pre-teen crush.
> 
> I will start posting the full fic when I have at least the first three years of the marauders fully written, which will be in a while.
> 
> I will post excerpts here from time to time that will differ from how they appear in the full fic.


End file.
